Self-Care Summer Series

As we find ourselves entering the hot summer months and stepping out of the COVID fog and into a new norm, it is essential to make time for yourself and align your life with what fills you up!

During these 12 sessions, I will help make your summer something special and help you create space for what matters most! No matter what stage of life you are in, these sessions will help you become clearer on how you want to spend your time, create space for rest and relaxation, and enter into the fall refreshed and renewed. See below for the full schedule! You can pay as you go or sign up for all 12 sessions at once!

May 19th -- Self Care Overview

May 26th -- Spring Cleaning

June 2nd --- Prepping for the Pool

June 9th -- Aligning Your Summer Values

June 16th -- Finding Fringe Hours

June 23rd --- Peace and Quiet

June 30th -- Asking for Help

July 7th -- Taking a Breather

July 14th -- The Joy of Creativity

July 21st -- You matter Too

July 28th -- Office Hours

August 4th -- Stepping into Fall

Summer Self-Care Series

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you might be an empath

I am an empath. I feel everything and am susceptible to burnout when there is too much sensory input.

When I get overstimulated, I tend to become frustrated, exhausted, and irritable, shutting down and avoiding my responsibilities.

Overstimulation can occur when I am in crowded stores, attending large concerts or events, interacting with people who try to hide their emotions, or find myself in environments where feelings are shoved down or shut out. For example, shopping at Walmart overwhelms me. Large concerts leave me on edge and worn out, inauthentic people make me feel trapped and alone, and the corporate world is a massive struggle for me because the focus is so rarely on self-care, wholeness, or emotion.

If I am not careful with how I spend my time, who I spend my time with, or take time for self-care, I can quickly become burnt out, tired, and depressed. Some days I struggle to find the energy to get up and get going, overwhelmed and exhausted.

Working with my therapist, we called the experience "hitting a wall" and came up with strategies to mitigate this sensory overload.

Let me clarify one point. Having empathy is a good thing. Empathy allows people to relate to and understanding other people's feelings, thoughts, and experiences. It is about meeting people where they are, even if we are not in the same position.

However, being an empath is empathy on steroids and, if not managed, can take an emotional toll. It is both a blessing and a curse.

Being an empath can feel like when a computer is overloaded and runs slowly or crashes, unable to keep up and process all the data.

After large gatherings of family or friends, I tend to retreat or need a day to rest, allowing my body to find equilibrium again. Small shifts in energy can send me spiraling, and I often don't understand what is wrong until later reflection.

I have lived in my body for 24 years, but it has only been within the last 12 months that I am learning how deeply emotions and input affect my body.

I knew that I would get depleted or tired, but I didn't understand why. I was always busy and working hard, so I assumed that my exhaustion was normal. When I started to slow down and create space, however, I realized it was less about my busy schedule and more about how I was using, cultivating, and maintaining my energy.

As an empath still in training, here are few essential things I have learned.

1. Schedule time for rest and restoration -- if you know there is a draining event coming up, be prepared to take some time to rest afterward and recharge. Allow yourself time and space. It is okay.

2. Take quiet time each day to journal and tune in with your emotions -- as an empath, it is easy to take on other people's feelings and think they are your own. Separate what you feel from the people around you and let go of that which is not yours to own.

3. Find practices that help you protect your energy -- Be careful who you let into your energetic field, learn blocking & shielding techniques, and learn to identify the things that drain you most.

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No matter if you identify as an empath or not, the above practices are helpful and can be extremely healing. We can all be susceptible to overwhelm and the influence of negative energy. Learning to rest, tune in to yourself, and be mindful of how things are influencing you and your body is essential. And who knows, you may feel better in the process!

If you are not sure yet if you are an empath but are curious to learn more, you can go through a quick self-assessment at https://drjudithorloff.com/quizzes/empath-self-assessment-test/

Here are a few books I also recommend if this post resonated with you!

Thriving As An Empath: 365 Days of Self-Care for Sensitive People - Judith Orloff

The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People - Judith Orloff

The Highly Sensitive Person: How to thrive When the World Overwhelms You - Elaine N. Aron

The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide: Essential Skills for Living Well in an Overstimulating World - Ted Zeff

Here is to thriving in this beautiful messy world we live in!

Join me in the deep

For as long as I can remember, I have been called an Old Soul. It is always said with some sort of reverence and awe as if I have accomplished something. But, my question is, what does a young soul look like, and why does it not merit the same amount of reverence? Are these traits we are born with, or is this something that we can grow into or learn?

There is a sense that Old Souls are wiser than the people around them or “wise beyond their years.” Maybe there is some truth to this, but I think with a little practice, we can all learn the art of wisdom and open ourselves to the depth of the cosmos. We can all be more connected to what it means to be alive and cut through the bullshit to find real and lasting joy, happiness, contentment, and peace.

Recently, the movie Soul came out on Disney+, and in a fun, Pixar animated way, the movie grapples with the idea of the meaning of life and what it means to choose life. In the story, the main character, Joe Gardener, is faced with his own death right after he hits a big break in his music career. Until this moment, he has been a struggling musician, washed out and worn down by rejection and so focused on his music career that his closest relationships have suffered. Even still, Joe is determined to live and get his shot. Resisting his death and desperate to get back to his body, he travels through a strange world where young souls are “born” and learn about what it means to be alive. In the story, young souls are portrayed as children and given a personality in the “time before.” These souls are then exposed to all kinds of things from Earth and must find their “spark” to gain the ability to enter into a physical body.

As Joe’s adventure gets going, he is paired with a soul to help them find their “spark” and earn passage to Earth. Yet, instead of being paired with soul number 1,867,765,105, as all the other mentors are, Joe Gardner is paired with soul number 22, a soul that has refused to go to Earth and cannot seem to find its spark.

Through their friendship, misadventures, and time together, we see both characters evolve and grow, learning what it means to be truly alive and find meaning in their lives.

Living in a time saturated with instant gratification and more content than we can consume in a lifetime, it is easy for us to get lost in chasing some thing or an idea of happiness rather than truly living and being happy. Like Joe, we can end up washed out and worn out, only to face death the moment we reach our goal, desperate to get a second chance.

We don’t need to face our own death, to choose to live.

As someone who has been labeled an Old Soul, I want to set the record straight. While it may allow me to see behind the curtain slightly (and I am not sure that this is true), it can be lonely. I have struggled to connect with my peers and find where I best fit in. I am drawn more to the existential search for meaning than the latest gossip or fashion trend. It is like I cannot breathe in the shallow waters where most people seem content playing. I crave the depths. The shallows are safe and fun; I recognize that, but so often, we miss the beauty of the coral reef or the feelings that bubble up from the depths of the Earth because we are so focused on feeling the security of the sand beneath our feet. There is so much more that we can experience when we step outside of the prescribed barriers we have been told are where we belong and swim a little deeper. You can bring the beach ball with you. I promise you won’t drown.

As someone who has struggled to connect at times and is watching the crowd in the shallows from a distance, I often find myself dazed and confused, unable to keep up or connect, especially when the connection seems contingent on knowing the latest celebrity gossip or fashionable trend. Before writing this post, I looked up different blogs to see what was most popular, and fashion and beauty blogs are first on that list.

I continuously feel behind or out of touch. This year has been particularly challenging because of our increased dependence on screens for connection.

As I think through my struggles of finding my place and feeling like I am truly living for myself and not for some social validation, here are five things I have learned and am continuing to learn on my journey.

1. You are not broken if you want something different; do not be afraid of your need for depth or deep waters - keep swimming.

2. Focus on what you have around you and what makes you come alive - do not get bogged down by the pressures to "keep up."

3. Take time to sit in silence and be alone every day -- trust your inner voice and guidance system.

4. Do not buy into the need for instant gratification and fast results - the spiritual world moves at its own pace, which is okay.

5. Build intentional and life-giving relationships – find your people and hold onto them tightly, never taking them for granted.

While I recognize it can be scary to step outside of the bounds of what we know or to challenge the status quo, I also recognize the freedom and beauty that we can find in the deeper waters. We do not have to accept the rules we have been given or measure our happiness and success by external markers. We can choose to live and find real and lasting joy, happiness, contentment, and peace within ourselves.

As Joe Gardner says at the end of the movie about his life, even when he isn’t sure what he will do next, “I'm going to live every minute of it.”

Let us come alive and live every moment of our lives to its fullest. Join me in the deep.