You Are Doing Great

Adulting is difficult and filled with many not so pretty moments. It is easy to think otherwise when turning to social media and catching glimpses of other people’s lives. It is easy to feel like everyone else has it together while you can barely get yourself dressed each morning. Remind yourself today that you are doing great and that we are all scrambling through the day to keep our lives together. Wherever you find yourself right now, know that you are not alone. You are not alone in your struggle, in your joy, in your embarrassment, in your pain, or in your glory.

The past two years have been a whirlwind for me in my personal life: I have lived in three different states, held four different jobs, and since moving back to Dallas a little over a year ago, I have lived in three different spaces. Before moving into Bonhoeffer house, where I am currently living, I lived with my grandmother in a retirement community. I lived out of a suitcase and slept on a pull-out bed in her living room for 2 months. Let’s just say that my pride took a blow. Everyone around me seemed to have it all together while I was so heavily depending on others to make ends meet. While as a 21-year-old, living in a retirement community was not my residence of choice, it was an incredible time to deepen my relationship with my grandmother and get to know her and her community better. It is a time I am beyond thankful for, and here is what I learned:

I learned that everyone depends on others to survive, everyone needs support from time to time, and everyone is trying their best to make ends meet. Community is essential. Having a community of people surrounding you, in whatever form that manifests itself, is what really matters. It doesn’t matter where you are, what you are doing, or how you look doing it; the people who surround you, support you, love you, and share themselves with you are what make life count.

Today, take a moment to reflect on the communities you inhabit. May they fill you with life, hope, love, and joy. May you give them life, hope, love and joy in return. On those days you feel like a fraud or adulting is too difficult and it is a challenge to get dressed, remember that you are not alone. We are all trying our best, and you are doing great.

You Are Seen. You are Loved.

I have shied away from sharing my own thoughts on the United Methodist decision made in St. Louis this past week. I have shied away for many different reasons; I have seen behind the curtain and had little to no faith in a progressive plan moving forward, I still do not know if I consider myself a Methodist, or a Christian for that matter, and I do not take institutions too seriously.

Ironically, however, and for reasons that are hard to fully explain, I am a student at Perkins School of Theology, a Methodist Seminary in Dallas, Texas.

This week I have seen, listened, and heard many of my friends and fellow class-mates grapple with feelings of confusion, anger, disappointment, shame, and uncertainty, as they try to figure out what these decisions mean for the future of their church and their place within it. Further, my email has been filled with updates and responses to the vote from local churches, schools, and groups that I am a part of.

In case you are unfamiliar with what is happening, last Sunday, a United Methodist Special General Conference was held to vote on issues around inclusivity and sexuality within the church. At the end of the conference, a conservative plan was passed that does not allow LGBTQ individuals full membership and participation within the church.

Personally, I believe that all people are loved and beautiful, created in the image of goodness and love. Nothing can take that away from us. Nothing can take that away from those we deem “other.” I believe that God, the Universe, The Great Mystery that surrounds us, lives and breathes within and around every last one of us. I believe that we are all equal in the eyes of the Creator. I believe that God is bigger than any of our divisions.

While it is not always easy to move forward, and there is a lot of pain and uncertainty in the world around us, it is important to remember that we are stronger than any ruling, any institution, and any executive decision. Our voices matter. Our pain matters. Our existence matters. I hope that everyone reading this knows that you are loved, you are enough, you are beautiful created in the image of the Creator. No conference or group of people can ever take that away from you.

I stand with my LGBTQ family and friends and with all others who are in pain or confusion at this time. You are seen. You are heard. You are loved.

March Madness

Happy March! We have entered the month of Lent, the month of spring, and, for you basketball fans out there, the month of March Madness! So many new beginnings.

In the last couple of weeks, I have been thinking a lot about my previous post on honoring our energies. What does your energy look like? What does my energy look like? How do we honor and harness that energy?

Learning to honor myself has not always been easy, and I am not always very good at it… I find myself wallowing or stirring in my emotions, retreating from the world and my responsibilities… let’s just say I have watched a lot of Brooklyn Nine-Nine recently.

In hopes of improving my ability to maintain equilibrium, I have begun working on ways to lean into my energy and better honor my body, my mind, and my soul. Recently, I have delved into the world of the enneagram and have discovered that I am a type 4 with a self-preservation instinct. If you are familiar with the enneagram, you may have a sense of what that means, and if you are not, I will write a post regarding the enneagram soon. In sum, fours have a deep sense of not belonging and being different than the people around them, and they yearn to be authentic and express themselves or find their uniqueness. Fours are normally called “romantics,” “individualists,” or “intense creatives.” There are some links and book recommendations below if you are interested in learning more about the enneagram for yourself.

Through this process of self-discovery and growth, I have begun thinking about and creating goals and projects that ignite my passions, fuel my energy, and allow my creative juices the space and time to move through my body. Therefore, I am creating my own “March Madness” and plan to post a blog daily through the month of March about things that I am thinking about, working through, or simply want to discuss. This is a space to bring your authentic self and know you’re not alone in this walk we call life. I would love feedback and open dialogue. Here is to new beginnings!

Enneagram Resources:

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

https://www.enneagramworldwide.com/tour-the-nine-types/

http://drdaviddaniels.com/the-enneagram/

https://www.integrative9.com/enneagram/27-subtypes/

Books on the Enneagram:

The Sacred Enneagram: Finding Your Unique Path to Spiritual Growth

Christopher L. Heuertz

The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self- Discovery

Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile