If anything, this past year has been a serious time of growth and learning. It is almost as if I am a different person in some deep foundational ways. While I love who I am becoming, I know I have fallen and will continue to fall short from perfection. I have not always been the greatest friend, the best student, a loving roommate, a kind daughter, or even a great friend to myself. Frustrated or ashamed of myself, I have found myself facing more walls than I can count wishing to fade away from the world for a while. But still, I stand and rise again.
I know that some of you reading this think, "duh... you're young. That is what this time is for..," and I know that life is a long process of growth. For me, however, this year has been pivotal. Each of us has a unique timeline and trajectory. For me, this past year has challenged and molded me in profound and beautiful ways that are difficult to capture in words. For others, their story and their timeline is theirs to share, and this past year carried its own weight and influence in their lives. We each grow and change at our own pace and in our own timing.
One thing that I find fascinating and am continuing to learn about is energy. It is both fleeting and eternal. It comes and goes from our experience, but it is never entirely gone; it simply becomes a part of something else. It is like a beautiful dance, weaving in and around all of us. What is mine today may be yours tomorrow. How beautiful. On my journey of self-discovery and growth, I am learning about what gives me energy and what sucks me dry. I am learning to tune into the energy that flows within and around me. It has quite a lot to teach me. I know it also has quite a lot to teach you. We are all made of unique and beautiful energy, just like we each have a unique and special story of growth. Tune in.
Sadly, I am coming to learn that many of us go through life with a list of "shoulds" and "should nots" or images of life that we desperately seek to make real. We are taught what it means to be "good" or "successful" people. We are taught to put others first and that to think of ourselves at all is selfish. We are told to do this and to do that and to avoid this and the other. We are told to blend in and be polite; we are taught to not create too many ripples. We are taught to carry shame and guilt about being too expressive, having raw or extreme emotion, or making mistakes. We are so often expected to be what others want or need without regard for our own realities.
While not all of these lessons may ring true in your own life, these are a few of the daunting lessons handed down to me over the years. My question is: isn't part of the beauty of life that we are not all the same? Therefore, shouldn't we each get to choose and create what our life looks like and define it for ourselves?
We give away so much of ourselves to the projections of the world without truly asking ourselves what it is that we want in a given moment. So, I ask you:
What is it that brings you life? What things "suck you dry"? What is it that feeds your life energy?
I challenge you to tune in. Follow where your energy is moving and begin to dance with that which is already pulsing in, around, and through each of us. Let me share with you some of this eternal goodness that never disappears but moves between all things in this beautiful artistic creation called life. You have a unique and beautiful vibration to add to the ensemble. Dance with me.
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