Let's Talk Romance

Let’s talk romance. Since the beginning of time, romantic relationships have been complex. The distinctions between and interconnectivity of love, lust, marriage, and sex are complicated and challenging to navigate. Today, these questions are further complicated by the addition of modern technology into the narrative. How are we communicating with each other?

Dating and communication has changed drastically in the past fifteen years. Relationships now hinge on cellular and digital communication as much as face-to-face time together. People meet online and get to know each other through messages. Potential crushes are now judged on their texting responses and thoughtfulness just as much as their communication in person… that’s hard. I am still terrible at navigating the different signals and sending “flirty” messages. My friends laugh with me and my attempts, but in all honesty, I have no idea what I am doing. (Bitmoji is my favorite thing ever created, because it can express all the things that I want to that words cannot quite capture).

I struggle with a love-hate relationship with online dating and dating apps. On the one hand, it is nice to know who is available and looking to meet other people, but on the other hand it removes the initial excitement of meeting someone and developing a crush overtime. Further, there is the challenge of finding someone who is not just looking for instant gratification and a hook-up but is genuinely interested in getting to know you. Part of my struggle is that it feels like dating apps are the only option. This feels especially true living in a big city, being out of college, and having a history of falling for guys that are unavailable. While I know plenty of people who have found their someone online, it is still difficult for me to completely buy into, yet I find myself swiping and going on dates to try to fit in and find my footing.

Ultimately, I do not know the answer, I do not know where I will I find my someone, and I do not know what the future holds or if I will ever learn how to send “flirty” messages just right. What I do know, however, is that romance and love is and has been complicated forever. It is important to remember, you are not alone in the struggle to find love, romance or whatever it is you are looking for. Good luck! (And let me know if you have any advice 😉)