For most of my life I have struggled to find "my people." I have always felt out of step. I am typically bored or unsatisfied with what everyone else seems captivated by. I am generally excited by things others seem to overlook or find peculiar. At the age of nine I was asking deep theological questions about the love of God for all people and grappling with questions about sexuality; by age twelve I was flying alone every other weekend to visit my father in another state; by age sixteen I was eagerly switching high schools to attend a school on the campus of a community college where everyone else was being dragged kicking and screaming; by age twenty I graduated college with honors and moved across the country to work in a National Park. I turned twenty one in Sun Valley, Idaho... I am from Texas.
Now, I live in an intentional living community based on a neo-monastic way of life. I deal with issues of poverty, homelessness, mental health, personal boundaries, and some level of conflict every day. Further, even though I deeply struggle with the institution of the church and question the Christian faith daily, I am working on a Masters of Arts and Minstry at SMU Perkins. People assume that I know a lot more about Methodist doctrine, polity, and history than I do. My interests do not always line up with that of my peers who strive to be leaders of the church. For me, seminary and theology is not about the church or even evangelizing. It is about my own growth and understanding. It is about defining my own faith and my own perspective. It is about learning to appreciate other voices and find common ground with those who are different than me.
I want to learn how the church can be a tool for strength and growth of the individual and help stand up against injustices around the world. I want to learn how the church can profess hope, love, and peace to a broken world without condeming or seperating people into groups of "haves" and "have nots". The church should not be a place of division, but a place of unity. Moreover, I do not think the church is the only resposible entity. In fact, I think the church often does a lot more harm than good, but for me, it is a place to start. I do not believe you have to go to church or ascribe to any particular set of beliefs to be healthy, whole, or any more valuable of a human. Nobody knows what happens when we die. Anyone who shames you for your beliefs needs to challenge their own. I belive we are each responsible to own our own shit, love eachother, and continue to grow as human beings doing this thing called life. I believe we each have our own unique and beautiful stories to tell. What is yours? Who are your people? Where do you find strength to continue onward and do what you love?
Here are some of my go to voices.
I have loved to read my whole life, but it hasn't been until more recently than I am choosing to make it a major part of my life style and a daily habit. These are just a few of the many amazing authors that have inspired, encouraged, challenged, and walked with me along my journey. These are my people. I admire their courage, their vulnerability, their wisdom, and their words. I aspire to be like them and lean into my voice, my story, and my truths. We all have a unique place in this world, and we are right on track. Wherever you are, you are not out of step. You are carving out a beautiful path that is just right for you.
Who are some of your favorite authors? Where do you find your people?
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