Yearning

My whole life

I have lived with a gaping hole

right in the middle of my chest

I have become so used to its presence

so familiar with its habits

I sometimes forget it exists

but life finds a way

to dig its grubby fingers

deep underneath my skin

revealing the hurt

that still lingers there

the gaping emptiness that remains

I ache

I cry

I reach out shaking hands

"Fill the hole!"

My body commands

"Heal this ache!"

So I pile things around me

searching for the glue

or the tape to fix my wound

I look inside of other humans

have men enter inside of me

hoping to find the missing piece

I drink a few too many drinks

feel my body fill with

the buzz of liquor and booze

only to awake the next morning

next to a body, my own body aching

to find myself still wide open and yearning