Create Space: Bloom

I am in a season of creating space. Creating space for myself, creating space to play, and creating space to show up as my authentic self.

In my life, this looks like being intentional about having time alone; this looks like going swing dancing, playing volleyball, singing karaoke, reading, and writing; this looks like expressing my needs to people around me, even when it is scary or I am afraid how others will respond; this looks like sitting with myself and being honest with where I am. This means no more sugar coating or avoiding my flaws, but befriending and growing through them.

An image that has resonated with me all year is that of a flower blossoming. When I went to New York earlier this year, I found myself taking more photos of flowers around the city than the iconic city light and sights. (If you know me, this is very fitting). As I reflect on my life, I realize this is a good metaphor and captures some of my own growth in the past few months. I found myself falling in love with the blooms that appeared in the most unexpected of places. There is a beautiful lesson here. Despite what is going on around us, despite the concrete, the noise, or the voices of others, we can carve out space to bloom and spread our pedals wide. We can create space to show our beautiful colors. Who knows who is walking by and soaking in your magnificence?

4 Insights

We all have a voice

Maintaining rituals is difficult. Self-care is challenging. Managing emotions, boundaries, and a healthy lifestyle is tough. Some weeks are great, and others are terrible.

Finding that balance between extroversion/introversion, giving/receiving and working/playing is much more difficult than anyone tells you.

There are so many voices in my head; so many preconditioned and overused tape recordings buzzing around, crowding out my own voice and filling me with self-doubt. There are so many expectations placed upon all of us about what it means to be “successful” or “good,” “beautiful” or “smart.” It is exhausting. I want to find me and want to find myself using my own rules.

Recently, I have realized and decided a few things.

1. It is critical for me to find time to be alone; boundaries are essential. It is okay to say no.

2. I love reading books on self-betterment, spiritual growth, and health – I wish that these were topics taught more frequently within schools and institutions. Instead, we are taught to push ourselves to fit other people’s expectations. We are taught to value a certain narrative of success that compromises our own well-being. I have seen too many friends and acquaintances sacrifice their own well-being for the sake of a grade or a stamp of approval.

Sleep declines, stress increases, and health deteriorates. It is okay to take time for yourself. It is okay to rest. It is not selfish or foolish. It is essential.

3. I have decided to forgo relationships with boys (romantically or flirtatiously) and alcohol for 90 days to reset and focus on myself. It is important to ask: “What do I need right now?”

4. We all have demons. It is okay to ask for help. It is okay to not be okay.

While I do not have all the answers and will be the first to admit that I am still a work in progress, I hope that I can begin to share some of my insights. Living in an intentional living community, working on a master’s degree, and reading books on co-dependency, boundary setting, addictions, and spiritual growth, I have felt myself shift and grow so much in the last year and a half. I have things to share and a voice to add to the dialogue. I hope you can find inspiration and encouragement here.

Breaking Open

Loving yourself is not always easy.

Trusting your gut, your heart, your soul is easier said than done.

Leaning into your authentic self-expression is difficult work.

But, this work is essential.

When you honor yourself, you flourish.

You break open and blossom toward the sun. Your body releases and expands. You shine bright and strong in the midst of chaos.

When you honor yourself, the world flourishes.

Others follow your lead. You break open and shed light onto those around you, illuminating the beauty deep within them, beckoning them out to play.

When you honor yourself, the universe smiles down around you.

You are wrapped in safe and open arms. Trust yourself. You already hold the key. All the answers you seek are within you. Let the truth within you break open and be free.

Do not be afraid.

We are each created with so much beauty, goodness, light, and wisdom within us.

Sadly, we are taught to control it, to conform it, and to mold it to the world around us. We are fed narratives that stifle our growth and expansion. It is time we reclaim our truest selves and lean into all the crevices of our being. This is where magic happens.

Resist. Release. Relearn.

Resist the need for security outside of yourself.

Release the negative narratives society has handed you.

Relearn the art and the magic of self-love and self-compassion.

Trust yourself. Trust your body. Trust your soul.

You are magnificent.

Break open and be free.